Making a new family tradition
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Remember being a kid and raking a huge piles of leaves just for the joy of jumping into them? The lovely earthy smell of fall leaves enveloping you as you happily tossed, kicked and crunched to your heart’s content … we carry those simple pleasures with us into adulthood.
In this electronic age, I sometimes wonder whether children today enjoy similar activities.
While pregnant, I read a fantastic book called “The Seventeen Traditions” by Ralph Nader. (Thank you Suzanne for letting me borrow it!) In this book, Nader reflects on the family traditions that most influenced him and his siblings while growing up in small-town Connecticut.
Those traditions fostered a strong sense of family, community connectedness, the importance of critical thinking and the civic responsibility of active participation in our democratic process.
A few of the 17 “traditions” include: attentive listening, family table time and solitude.
I grew up with the tradition of eating our evening family meal together at the dinner table. It’s a tradition I’ve carried, for the most part, into my own family. Eating a meal together, away from the television, provides time to check in on each other’s lives. As we feed our bodies, our family dinners nourish our souls as well – providing a relaxing atmosphere to enjoy each other’s company. I am thankful to my parents for so many things, but especially for the tradition of sharing a family meal.
As for the tradition of listening, it was ingrained in Nader and his siblings to listen more than speak. He was taught that through listening, a person learns more than when they are speaking. Today’s age of instant communication via Facebook, chatting, emailing, texting or Tweeting, keeps us from communicating face-to-face. The constant barrage of electronic communication makes a “listener” less engaged. We can be cooking dinner, shopping for groceries or surfing the Web while communicating electronically. Being an engaged listener at city council meetings, public forums or around the dinner table requires more personal participation.
Though no less important today, Nader admits that upholding a tradition of solitude seems a little more difficult in today’s world of ringing cell phones, television noise and traffic congestion. When he was growing up, silence was common. This particular tradition struck a chord with me. Taking quiet time for myself improves my outlook and interactions with others.
While some traditions change over the years, I believe it was Nader’s intention to encourage families of today to create their own traditions and draw closer to one another.
Nader cites family disconnectedness as a major source of dysfunction within our society. A strong sense of family fosters a sense of security for children and influences how they view themselves and others.
I am thankful to live in Montana where our children have alternatives to television, video games and Web surfing. There are trees to climb, fields to run in, streams to explore ... and this time of year, plenty of leaves to jump in. Perhaps I’ll make this a new family tradition.