‘Bridegroom’ filmmaker, activist joins crowd at SKC
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PABLO — With 31 states where same sex marriages are legal and several more states moving in that direction, the movie “Bridegroom” is especially poignant. If same sex marriage had been legal in 2011, it would have alleviated so much heartache for couple Shane Bitney Crone and Tom Bridegroom.
The film screened on Oct. 21 at the Johnny Arlee/Victor Charlo Theater on the Salish Kootenai College campus, sponsored by the SKC student group Spirits of Many Colors, the Center for Wellness, and Safe Harbor.
Safe Harbor Director Dana Grant said he was happy with the turnout, with 70 people at the chili dinner beforehand and approximately 98 people who watched the documentary. Shane came for the showing and answered audience questions afterwards.
The documentary tells the story of Tom and Shane. Both from small towns — Shane from Kalispell and Tom from Culver, Indiana — the young men both migrated to California in 2005, met and fell deeply in love. During their six years together, they started a business, bought a home, traveled the world, planning to visit all Seven Wonders of the World, and adopted a dog while creating a forever life together.
“His name was Tom, and he was my life,” Shane said in the opening scenes of the documentary.
Shane’s family accepted the couple. Tom’s family did not, especially Tom’s father, who physically attacked him and pulled a gun on him when he came out to his family, according to the documentary.
Then, during a photo shoot on a rooftop in 2011, Tom accidentally fell four stories and died. The couple was not married and neither had a will. Since Shane was not considered “family,” he was not allowed to be in the hospital room with Tom, before or after he died.
After rooting through Shane and Tom’s personal belongings, Tom’s mother took her pick of the couple’s things. Then she took her son’s body back to Indiana for burial. Shane was not allowed to attend the funeral — in fact, he was warned that Tom’s dad and uncle planned to attack him if he did attend.
A year after Tom’s death, Shane released a YouTube video called “It Could Happen to You,” a roughly 10-minute video detailing their life together, Shane’s anguish and his decision to fight for equality.
“I just don’t know if people will listen; I guess no one is going to listen if I don’t talk. So I’m talking,” he said.
Linda Bloodworth-Thomason, creator of the TV show “Designing Women” and many documentaries, saw the YouTube video and contacted Shane three weeks after his video went online and viral. She wanted to make a documentary of Tom and Shane’s story.
As a kid, Shane was lonely and the victim of homophobic teasing and bullying. He kept a video diary, which continued after he and Tom met so there was lots of material for Bloodworth-Thomason to work with.
It was a low budget film, which made it hard to get into film festivals. Finally, at the Tribeca Film Festival in New York City, one of the largest festivals, “Bridegroom” won the audience award.
Then-President Bill Clinton introduced the film at its premier. Now it’s available on NetFlix and in Redbox, and Oprah Winfrey asked to premier the documentary on her network.
Shane travels and speaks all over the United States, and now Ireland, Australia and Mexico.
“People are able to connect to it all over the world,” Shane said.
Booked for the next six to eight months, Shane said, “I don’t necessarily know what happens next, but I feel like I have a purpose now.”
