Slices of Life
Dream big
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Dreams and goals - I think it’s safe to say we all have both.
And that’s wonderful, and necessary. Because what would life be without dreams and goals?
In a word: hollow.
I used to set very specific goals for myself. I used to dream of what I wanted to accomplish with those goals. I set goals that were substantial and significant. In that I was proud and happy with myself. I was being proactive and moving forward.
I will earn more money. I will acquire a bigger house. I will buy a better car. I will lose weight. I will adopt a new exercise routine. I will feed my family healthier meals with food cooked from scratch. I will go on a big vacation. I will be better about helping the kids with homework. I will publish this column in more papers than I did last year.
I’ve heard of people doing this same type of thing with a “vision board,” where they post actual images of the goals they want to achieve - the logic being that if you see it, you will be more likely to create it.
I never had a vision board, but I certainly envisioned the goals I hoped to achieve.
And in many ways, it worked. Over the years I’ve been successful in meeting many of my goals.
Which is good. Except for one thing.
I’ve come to believe I was approaching the whole goal thing all wrong. I don’t want to point any fingers, but when it comes to dreams and goals, I think many of us are missing the mark.
For most of my life - for decades - I focused my goals on the world around me: my income, the size of my house, luxury vacations and the newness of my car. I thought those things proved success and would lead to happiness, and (honestly) they often did.
But they never, ever should have been the focus of my goals or my dreams.
Because goals and dreams are so much bigger than things.
Therein lies the lesson. Therein lies the awesomeness of goals and dreams.
Don’t dream of a new house or a better job. Dream bigger.
When you dreamt of that big house and bigger job, what were you desiring, really? What were they supposed to bring into your life?
Dream of that. Set that as your goal.
Don’t dream of things. Dream of a state of mind, because in the long run, it doesn’t matter what you have.
What matters is how you feel.
Let that sentence steep for a moment because it is huge.
Is someone living in a glass-walled house overlooking spectacular views of the ocean automatically happier and more fulfilled than someone living in a trailer park on a busy street on the wrong side of the tracks in some crowded urban city?
We all know the answer.
Happiness isn’t contingent on environment or the things we spend so much time and energy attempting to acquire. Happiness comes from somewhere beyond mere things. And deep down we all realize this.
When setting goals - when living your life - think about what brings you joy. What brings you peace. What makes you feel loved.
Seek that. Pursue that.
And understand that despite what the world is telling you, despite what other people tell you about all the possessions they have that they claim make them happy, none of it matters unless it matters to you.
If a bigger house truly brings you joy, then seek it to your full potential. But if not, stop.
Just stop and find your joy. Find your peace.
When you have those two entities – truly encompass them and hold them in your heart – you will understand that nothing else matters. When you have peace and joy you have something much, much bigger than anything this physical world will ever give you.
And here’s the really cool part. When you have peace and joy, you somehow stop thinking about all the extraneous noise beyond that and it’s exactly then that all the other “stuff” seems to fall into place.
Almost like that was the plan all along.
Jill Pertler is an award-winning syndicated columnist, published playwright and author. Don’t miss a slice; follow the Slices of Life page on Facebook.
